marc_beastly

Really, really funny

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 01:48:41 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

Things that Marc Priestley hates

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 03:02:16 GMT

1. People who think they're "children of all nations".
2. Entitled black people who think they should get reparations for slavery done to their ancestors.
3. Undercooked bread.
4. The "Saw" film franchise.
5. The smell of gasoline.
6. Novels that include: "he/she smelled of..." because "smelling of" something is better writing I guess.
7. "Fight Club" in all shapes and forms.
8. Brock University.
9. People that go to Brock University.
10. People that believe that by going to a specific university, they somehow inhabit its reputation and achievements.
11. Visual Art.
12. Music.
13. Summer.
14. Humidity.
15. Anyone who has ever worn anything that says "Italia" on it.
16. The word "Italia".
17. People who are only vaguely Italian and yet embrace the culture as their own.
18. People who make "stir-fry" in something other than a wok.
19. Canola oil.
20. E.L. Crossley.
21. The audience at the Shaw Festival.
22. Parking in Toronto.
23. Anything branded "FCUK".
24. The Pen Centre.
25. People who can't work technology.
26. People who don't use Firefox.
27. Anyone who has ever owned a Mac.
28. Anyone who feels "men are the cause of violence in this world" when it's simply the fact that they're the gender that has power.
29. Myspace.
30. Facebook. I hate Facebook now more than Myspace.
31. Barking dogs.
32. People who vacation in New York City and believe themselves to have some kind of spiritual connection to it.
33. 35mm cameras.
34. Adam Blake.
35. Jory Graham.
36. Aprile Elcich (or however it's spelt).
37. Their cat.
38. Polaroids.
39. Self-help books.
40. Business students.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 21:23:59 GMT

If I had a love in my life, I would be stronger than you could possibly imagine.

My heart's desire.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 17:50:12 GMT

All that I want in life is a nice turtleneck.

Those old times.

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 19:38:33 GMT

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 19:22:43 GMT

My family is going away at the end of the month, but I have no friends to party with.

My parents are giving away all of their wine for free. Want some?

Ethnic People

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 16:24:21 GMT

3 out of the 4 profs that I've had so far have had exotic accents, and it's really awesome. There was this African guy, who kept on making jokes about how war-torn his country is, which I'm not sure is so funny. Then there's the Chinese (yes, actually Chinese, I'm not just saying Chinese because I'm one of those people who assumes that all Asian people are Chinese) who really has no interesting characteristics.

But then there's the treasure trove: the West-German teacher. This man IS Borat. He even used the words "mother country" and leaves words out in sentences to hilarious results like: "you send me e-mail, I respond super-quick." Come on, is this happening in my life?

99 Movies that Marc Priestley wants you to see with him

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 19:29:28 GMT

Pulp Fiction

Fargo

Elizabeth

Closer

Ran

Metropolis

Nixon

Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Eyes Wide Shut

2001: A Space Odyssey

7 Samurai

Three Colours Trilogy

The Decalogue

The Up Series

All About Eve

Vertigo

Taxi Driver

Raging Bull

Oldboy

North by Northwest

Psycho

Strangers on a Train

Bad Education

Talk to Her

The Animatrix

The Bandwagon

The Wizard of Oz

Gone with the Wind

Casablanca

Before Sunrise

Before Sunset

Being John Malkovich

Blue Velvet

City of God

La Dolce Vita

Election

The Exorcist

Farewell my Concubine

Goodfellas

Grave of the Fireflies

Spirited Away

In the Bedroom

Kill Bill Vol. 1

Kill Bill Vol. 2

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Magnolia

The Manchurian Candidate

Minority Report

Nashville

The Nightmare Before Christmas

The New World

The Scarlet Empress

Battleship Potemkin

Serenity

The Silence of the Lambs

Sleepy Hollow

Sophie’s Choice

Spider-Man 2

A Streetcar Named Desire

The Sweet Hereafter

Summer of Sam

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Thelma and Louise

There’s Something About Mary

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Vanity Fair

Wings of Desire

Y Tu Mama Tambien

Gates of Heaven

Fanny and Alexander

The Seventh Seal

The Last Picture Show

Last Tango in Paris

3 Women

The Maltese Falcon

Amores Perros

My Fair Lady

Notorious

The Gospel According to St. Michael

The Royal Tenenbaums

Schindler’s List

The Shining

Beauty and the Beast

Westside Story

The Godfather

The Wild Bunch

Die Hard: With a Vengeance

Goodbye Lenin

Signs

Amadeus

Rebecca

Rashomon

Chinatown

American Beauty

Sunset Boulevard

Aguirre: The Wrath of God

My Best Fiend

I like this

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 03:07:07 GMT

Alicia: I'll be having a party. My parents are away for the weekend.
Marc: Your parents are always going away on vacation.
Alicia: I know, they just like that stuff.
Marc and Alicia: ....
Marc and Alicia: ....
Marc and Alicia: ....
Marc: Are your parents the parents from "Spy Kids"?
Alicia: SHUT UP.

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 22:29:36 GMT

I'm seriously so tired of hearing people be excited about moving away. Toronto is a city. It's not going to fucking change your lives people.

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 00:19:22 GMT

It boggles the mind that this exists.

Anyone interested?

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 22:42:25 GMT

Laptop ($650):
15" LCD screen
1.4gHz Pentium M (Mobile) Processor
512MB RAM
64MB Video
60GB Hard Drive
CD-Burner/DVD Drive

Desktop ($425):
1.2gHz AMD Processor
512MB RAM
128MB nVidia Geforce TI4200 video card
120GB Hard Drive
DVD Drive
DVD Burner (yes, two drives)
Heavily customized (LEDs, cold cathode tubes, you've seen this shit)
Front-load USB, firewire, sound output

Remember these cool, green guys?

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 21:47:09 GMT

My childhood.

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 22:11:05 GMT

I'm kind of sick of pad thai.

A real conversation

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 22:43:44 GMT

Ajay (my brother's friend): Hey bro, we're having a party tonight. Why don't you get some of those girl friends of yours over?
Me: Yeah... (stupid fake laugh)
Ajay: I thought that brunette one was kind of cute, the red-head wasn't bad either.
Me: Becky and Cotey?
Ajay: I don't really care what their names are.

I'm not even making this up.

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 20:28:39 GMT

Why the fuck do I always just ramble instead of carefully choosing my words to express to the general public and not just Microsoft Word 2000?

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 20:27:50 GMT

I'm so fucking annoyed with everything right now. Every-fucking-thing is just a facade. Fucking wind just blowing my fucking water bottle and map off of the roof. Jesus Christ, why is there no love!!?!?!?

WTF?

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 00:53:23 GMT

Honestly Andrew, WTF? This is what all men should aspire to be.

Sun, 28 May 2006 20:06:25 GMT

I really miss you guys right now.

Wed, 17 May 2006 23:36:46 GMT

Seriously. Thanks Jen. Spending time with you has rubbed off your fucking sketchbag magnetism. I was doing my laundry when the guy who lives in the apartment next to me felt it necessary to explain his divorce to his "whore wife" in exhaustive detail. All this while LOST is on. He made me miss 30 minutes of it, so of course I gave up on the episode. Thank god CTV airs the episode at 7 because of fucking American Idol so I can catch it on ABC. Yes, I know I can download it, but it's too fucking important to wait for.

Should I continue this?

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 02:50:49 GMT

The Kidnappers

By: Marc Priestley

Cast

Henry
Martin
Patricia
Louise

(Curtains open to reveal a girl tied up to a chair at center stage.)

Louise
I always thought I would have to take my clothes off to be this famous, at least get it off of my web cam this time around. Instead I’m tied up in nylon ropes waiting for a bunch of idiots to decide what’s the best way to get money outside trendy emu farming or the happenstance road that international finance leads you down. Don’t get me wrong, they’ve been hospitable and all; they’ve supplied me food, water and even a bucket…

(Spotlight goes on at stage left to show a filthy bucket.)

Louise
Not everyone gives out buckets you know. Now I know what you’re thinking, we’ve seen this whole “kidnapped teenaged-girl” so many times before: Action News at 11:00, Die Hard, Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn… But I think we’re going to get it fresh this time. Sex instead of flirting, guns in place of knives, gut wounds over leg wounds, hemorrhages replacing act breaks! This is going to be a good one. So let’s introduce the players.

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 01:39:06 GMT

I want to eat pad thai with you guys.

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 21:58:58 GMT

OK, channel 4, before The Simpsons. Why was Urkel in space?! And the Winslow mom was played by a different actress, and Laura and Urkel are kissing?! WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 04:32:18 GMT

I leave in like a week. How do you organize a goodbye-orgy? No gloves allowed.

Does anyone remember "The Littlest Hobo"?

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 00:03:32 GMT

http://www.retrojunk.com/details_tvshows/40-the-littlest-hobo/

Why does he have a gun?!